FACTS:

As modeled by Mark Knopfler™. He is actually playing this bagpipe music through his guitar in tribute to the GREAT BRITISH Curling Gold Medal winners. The tartan is already famous as it has been seen on the titles of BBC1`s hit comodrama Monarch of the Glenn. When questioned dead character actor Richard Briers grinned. "I wouldn't want to see Lexie in anything else" was heard as he humped Susan Hampshire over the billiard table.

Try the sport of Curling in you own home. Make coloured rings on your hall carpet using food dye and push ice cubes up and down while wiggling a broom about and shouting at them. Hours of fun. A similar game can also be played with your partner while in bed. Remember the resulting stains on your carpet/sheets may reduce the value of your home.

Haywards Heath is a part of GREAT BRITAIN not Scotland.